


Black Friday FUN(?)

by hinoka



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack, Gen, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm also bad at summaries, M/M, Shopping, in the most insane way possible, more characters to be added in later, or at least my attempt at it, shipping is not the main focus of the story, ships also to be added later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5801011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinoka/pseuds/hinoka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the day after American Thanksgiving, and a world meeting is being held in New York. To everyone's surprise, it runs smoothly, for once. The rest of the day, however, is anything but smooth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction: Part 1 of 2

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this first chapter last year, the week of Black Friday. Needless to say, I promptly forgot about it until now, the new damn year. What the hell, me. This is probably going to be 5+ chapters, depending on how many characters I write into it.

This was supposed to be a normal gathering for the nations.

 

But naturally, with a meeting held in New York, the day after American Thanksgiving, this wasn't the result.

 

America, whose stomach seemed to be a little bigger that day (“It’s not _my_ fault that turkey is so good!”), had rushed off right after the meeting had ended, claiming McDonald's would be way more crowded than usual if he didn’t hurry.

 

Naturally, this sparked the interest of many nations, who were used to America’s rants that dragged long after the meeting had supposedly ‘ended’.

 

England, surprised he didn’t have to stop America from blabbering so much, was the first out of the building. In his hurry, he didn’t look before he walked out.

 

“What the _\- BLOODY HELL, GET OFF ME YOU-”_

 

England’s words were swallowed up, and he was dragged along the busy crowd, all yelling and pushing as they tried to maneuver their way through the street. This was definitely _not_ what the country had expected, and if thousand year old reflexes didn’t kick in, he would have been trampled.

 

He stumbled back into the building where he had left, nearly tripping over the Germanic nations standing in the lobby.

 

“Don’t,” England gasped out as he collapsed onto Austria, “go out.”

 

“Out where?” Germany questioned, in the middle of discussing economical problems with Switzerland.

 

England raised a shaky hand and pointed to the store closest to the doors. FOREVER 21, the sign seemed to yell, and below it, ALL ITEMS 50% OFF, ONLY TODAY.

 

Austria, barely keeping himself upright with England’s weight on him, slowly looked up. Silently, he mouthed the words, and his eyes widened.

 

“Hungary,” he called, “Come see this.”

 

Hungary, with Italy hanging off her arm, joined them. “What, Mr. Austria?”

 

Austria, tapping Switzerland on the shoulder with one hand, mirrored England’s pointing with the other. “I think we have some shopping to do.”

 

Hungary and Switzerland turned their heads at the same time, and spoke in unison: ”Liechtenstein, we’re getting you new skirts.”

 

Hungary pushed a unsteady England to Germany, and scooped Austria up into her arms. Switzerland grabbed his sister’s hand, and together the four marched out, absolutely fearless.

 

Italy, who had been shoved to the side, took his place next to Germany. Both watched in amazement as the four pushed their way out and shoved many civilians aside in their haste.

 

Head slightly tilted, Italy asked, “Germany, what do we do now?”

 

Germany sat England down in a lobby sofa and brought his phone out of his pocket. “I believe this calls for a Code Red emergency.”

 

.

 

After a few serious sounding phone calls, Germany turned to Italy, grimacing.

 

“Backup is coming shortly... Actually, backup is coming now. DUCK!”

 

Germany tackled Italy to the ground as sounds of expensive glassware being broken filled the air.

 

One of the figures that had caused the mess spoke. “Yo, West! Heard you needed your big brother’s help!”

 

Germany’s mouth turned down in seriousness, and his words were stiff and short. “Yes. Code Red. Affectants: Hungary, Austria, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein. Problem: Sales.”

 

Prussia’s smirk widened. “I’m glad I brought the whole crew then.” He turned towards his fellow troublemakers. “France, Spain?”

 

France was bent down next to the sofa, poking and prodding a grumbling and barely conscious England. “We have this perfectly under control.”

 

A smiling Spain had plopped down on the arm of the sofa. “Of course we do! You can trust us.”

 

Germany looked doubtful, but nonetheless said, “Alright, you can go out first. But any problems, call me immediately.”

 

France finally looked up from his position next to the sofa. “Naturally, Big Brother France would never let you down. Oh, and wonderful positioning you have there with our dear Veneziano. I’m sure that is… comfortable.”

 

Realizing that he still had Italy pinned underneath him, Germany sputtered and quickly stood. With pink tinting his face, he cleared his throat and finished his thoughts. “I suppose it would be a good idea to ask the other nations to help. Italy and I can go ask his brother. I trust you three can handle the others?”

 

Prussia cackled his signature laugh, “What, is that supposed to be hard, West? I thought you trusted your awesome bro more than that! Let’s head to the control room, Spain, I bet France can handle England without any help.”

 

France winked. “But of course.”

 

Germany nodded. “Then, Italy, please lead me to where Romano is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I was batshit insane when I got this idea. Considering the ideas I have for later chapters, that will have be a regular occurrence. Eh, whatever. That's normal for me. Part Two of the introduction coming soon (although that will be a bit of a filler, since the real fun starts later on. Kudos and comments are very appreciated ;).


	2. Introduction: Part 2 of 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd I am back with another chapter! I wrote this throughout the week (mostly after midnight lol) and it might uhh, contain some fluffy gerita. Oops. I'm a complete sucker for fluffy nations. If you'd like to skip it, skip to "Is this working? Hello?” and you'll be spared most of it! Though I don't know many people who don't like gerita... eh, what the heck, your preference.
> 
> Also, friendly reminder that Holland and the Netherlands are the same person and the names will be used interchangeably. Belgium also refers to him as her brother. Sorry for any confusion.
> 
> My only real warnings in this chapter is that Romano will curse a ton. In capital letters as well. In character, right?

“Ve~ Germany, fratello should be with Belgium and Holland in the meeting room.”

 

The two nations stepped into the elevator. “Thank you, Italy.”

 

Italy laughed brightly. “ You don’t need to be so stiff here, Germany. Not around me.”

 

Biting his lip, Germany replied. “I know, Italy, but you out of all people understand how wild Austria and Hungary can become if they put their minds to it. Them combined with an overprotective Switzerland will be a nightmare to stop.”

 

Italy’s lips curled up more, his smile reflecting on the elevator’s metal doors. “I'm not worried. I know that Germany always comes up with a solution! You just needs to relax.”

 

His carefree expression was contagious, and Germany couldn't help but try to match it. “And what do you suggest to make that happen?”

 

Bouncing slightly on his toes, Italy turned to face the other country. “Our tradition, of course!”

 

For the first time that day, the German nation let out a laugh. “Understood.”

 

Bending down so their faces was level with each other, he kissed each of Italy’s cheeks.

 

Italy hummed and threw his arms around Germany’s shoulders. “Later, I can cook us some pasta! Japan said we could visit him too, like a private vacation- that’ll be fun, right, Germany?”

 

Germany’s face lightened with each word the other nation spoke. “I suppose so.”

 

Italy beamed and leaned closer, but was jolted away as the elevator suddenly halted to a stop.

 

“Is this working? Hello?” A voice, clearly Spain’s, boomed from the speakers inside the elevator. “You're supposed to be able to hear this from anywhere in this building! Call the control center if you can hear me- password is tomato! T-O-M-A-T-”

 

Muffled noises cut off the rest of his sentence, and another voice screeched out, wild and laugh-filled.

 

“KESESESESESESE- It’s me, the awesome Prussia! Spain and I have cut off ALL THE POWER inside this building so we can bring you A SUPER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT- DON’T GO OUTSIDE! IT’S A BAD IDEA! Hold on, the security guards want to talk to- HELL NO, SHOVE O-”

 

In the elevator, Germany groaned and dropped his forehead onto Italy’s shoulder. “I didn't say it was necessary to cut off the power or attack the guards. I should have told-”

 

Italy patted the nape of Germany’s neck and interrupted him. “It's not your fault, Germany! You know your brother, he would have done something insane even if you already said not to. You can just call the control center and talk to everyone there, right?”

 

“If you're the one who has to tell me what to do, I am definitely not doing well,” Germany replied, but Italy could see that the other nation was comforted by his words. “I’ll do that now.”

 

Before he could even unlock his phone, Spain’s voice blared from the speakers once more.

 

“While Prussia deals with those men, I’ll answer some calls! Here’s the first one-”

 

“YOU BASTARD, YOU CUT OFF THE POWER RIGHT WHEN MY PHONE DIED! I DON’T EVEN HAVE A PORTABLE CHARGER, I'M USING BELGIUM’S, SO YOU BETTER EXPLAIN WHAT'S HAPPENING _NOW_.”

 

“Romano!” Spain sounded overjoyed. “No problem, it’s not serious, we just have Hungary, Austria, and Switzerland on the loose outside!”

 

“AND _WHY_ ARE THEY OUTSIDE? IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING OUT THERE? I’M NOT GOING TO BE STUCK INSIDE A FUCKING BUILDING LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD IN A SUPERMARKET THAT LOST THEIR MOTHER!”

 

“Ah, you’re actually spot on, Romano! The reason that we’re making this announcement is because-”

 

Italy’s face paled. Germany could feel his entire body go stiff. There was no way that Spain would tell. He couldn’t. It would ruin-

 

“There’s a huge sale everywhere today! I think that’s why America left so early too.”

 

Everything.

 

For a moment, everything was still. Then, the tower seem to split with simultaneous screaming and German curses.

 

Spain, surprised by the sudden noise, smacked his hands down on the buttons and knobs of the control panel. The elevator slammed into action, throwing Germany and Italy against the doors.

 

_Ding._ The doors slid open, and various nations clambered inside, nearly trampling the two nations already inside.

 

The elevator filled up at an alarming rate, and Germany managed to crawl out, Italy pushing next to him. They had barely made it out of the doors before it shut.

 

“What were you bastards _doing_ in there?”

 

Germany’s vision was blurred, and he was barely able to register that he was being propped up so that his back was leaning against a wall. Italy grunted next to him, in a similar state.

 

“Fr-fratello?” Italy finally coughed, after a few minutes.

 

“Obviously, asshole. I was going find Spain and kick that shitty grin off his face. Only stopped because that elevator got too damn full of idiots.”

 

Germany, his vision slowly focusing, saw Romano and Belgium standing in front of him. He noticed someone missing from the usual trio. “Where is the Netherlands? Italy said he would be with you two…”

 

Belgium beamed. “When Spain said the announcement, Brother murmured something about money and dashed out. He had a really scary face on! Well, scarier than his normal face, I guess.”

 

“He told us he’d be gone for a while,” Romano added, “We can just call him later, whatever.”

 

Suddenly, Italy sat up straight. “Germany. Germany, Holland is even _worse_ than Austria when it comes to sales, you know that.”

 

Germany cursed underneath his breath. “I have to get my brother. We can’t stop him if we all don’t work with each other. I’ll try calling Japan too.”

 

Romano grimaced. “I’ll go with you, since Spain’s with him. N-not like I care about either, though. I just want to kick his ass.”

 

Germany nodded. It was the most help that Romano would ever offer to him anyway. He took out his phone, dialing Japan’s number. It went into voicemail. Germany frowned and dialed again.

 

“Hello, Japan? It’s Germany. I was wondering if-”

 

The line momentarily filled with static, and then Japan, his voice tinged with fear, spoke in the loudest voice Germany had heard in a long time.

 

“Germany-san! I am sorry, I must ask you a favor. Please, please help me get out of-”

 

More static, and a different voice spoke, in a manner that could only be China.

 

“Japan, look at this adorable panda plushie! Wait, Taiwan, stop grabbing the pink hairbands- we got to save for- VIETNAM WATCH OUT, THAILAND-”

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ The line cut off, and Germany stared at his phone with a stunned expression.

 

“I guess Japan’s help is out, then?” Romano spoke, after a few moments of silence.

 

Belgium frowned. “It sounds more like he needs _our_ help.”

 

Italy stood up. “I bet we can track him and Holland together! There’s must be a phone tracking device thing in the control room, right, Germany?”

 

Blinking, said nation pushed himself to his feet as well. “Right. Let's get going. There isn’t time to lose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who knows which episode/strip the 'kisses on the cheek' tradition came from gets virtual cookies! Yes, I know that being a 'tradition' isn't really a canon thing. Just a headcanon of mine if those two ever are confirmed by Himapapa. Which will probably never happen. In this decade, at least. Welp.
> 
> The next chapter will be focused on the Asian nations! Or at least that's what I've got planned. You never know with this mind. It's going to get _much_ more insane/cracky then. This is just a pillow to soften the blow.
> 
> Friendly reminder that I have a [tumblr](http://davieisdead.tumblr.com/), and I'll be glad to talk to you guys and/or tell of some ideas I have for the future!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I was batshit insane when I got this idea. Considering the ideas I have for later chapters, that will have be a regular occurrence. Eh, whatever. That's normal for me. Part Two of the introduction coming soon (although that will be a bit of a filler, since the _real_ fun starts later on. Kudos and comments are very appreciated ;).


End file.
